Sunday, 15 March 2015

Funny Old World

Anyone who loves their job goes out of their way to explain how each day is “totally unpredictable” and how you never know what’s coming next. (Normally accompanied b y some reference to how “crazy” everyone is.) Riiiiight...

We all know that the reality is different.  And that most jobs are actually pretty dull, repetitive and boring. As are the people. We just have coping mechanisms for them.

Life working with an Ibiza escort agency certainly has its predictable elements - it’s seasonal, the calls come at certain times of day, that sort of thing. Even the things that used to shock are now routine. Watersports? Dwarves? Five girls for one guy? A girl who hasn’t washed for a while? Whatever, really.

But within that, pretty much every day there’s something that makes even my eyes open up like saucers or forces me to hold in the chortling and keep my game face on. And I promise you, I have seen everything!

This week’s been no exception.

Like the client who specifically asked a friend of mine for a watersports session and was very adamant about it.
More Espresso! Now!

So she tanks up with five cups of espresso and three litres of water in the hour before their meeting. Only to be told that he didn't fancy it any more, and she didn't mind did she? And then he took umbrage when she had to go to the loo to lose Niagara Falls for ten minutes before they could carry on with the date!

It’s happened before but to keep a straight face during the retelling took some work.

Or the client who was unhappy that the tallest escort girl on our books was only 180 cms tall and so requested that she wore at least 5” heels. He then proudly sent me a photo of them out on a date with the top of his head just reaching the underneath of her boobs.

Apparently he was lovely by the way.

I will keep you up to date with the day-to-day stories now, I promise.

Ally x

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